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Cats have many important responsibilities, including:

• Supervising bird activity

• Monitoring sunbeam locations

• Conducting midnight parkour training

• Judging human life choices

• Knocking objects off tables for scientific research

• Frequent staring at nothing

• Sudden bursts of speed

• Sleeping in unusual locations

• Refusing to explain themselves

• Looking deeply offended without reason

1. Wake up hungry.

2. Eat breakfast.

3. Pretend breakfast never happened.

4. Request second breakfast.

5. Sleep for four hours.

6. Sprint through the house at maximum velocity.

7. Conduct evening biscuit-making operations.

8. Sleep again.

This elite team is responsible for:

• Monitoring neighbourhood activity

• Recording squirrel movements

• Reporting suspicious leaves

• Tracking courier deliveries

Their latest findings include:

Every box is a good box.

• Smaller boxes are somehow even better.

• Boxes are more desirable if expensive cat beds are available.

Official Cat Rules

"If I fits, I sits."

"The human's keyboard is always the warmest place in the house."

"All unattended glasses of water belong to the cat."